Uno: When in Doubt Blame America

[commie_island]

[He wakes up and blinks slowly. This isn’t his house. He can tell just from laying there. This place is too....he looks around and after a bit of searching finds the phone. Have an incredibly angry Cuban yelling at you Mayfield, thick accent included]

America!

What do you think you’re pulling, kidnapping me like this?

If this is another one of your stupid schemes to kill my boss, I swear....

[There's a pause as he sighes and looks around.]

Shit. Your house is worse than I thought.

Comments

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

Right.

[Suspicious Commie is suspicious]

Well then. What are we supposed to do here?

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

They want us to live a happy normal life with our new families.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

.....why?

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

Because they just think everyone should live in a happy little family and everyone must live in peace and harmony except for the Russians and Chinese!

....

America was really in denial during the 1950s...

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

[He scoffs]

No really.

Is Russia or China here?

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

No one knows why...but that's what I came up with...

Yes. Mr. Russia's my neighbor...and I think I've seen Mr. China around.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

Good. At least some of my allies are here.

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

Ms. Vietnam is also here. She's...ah...A-America's new wife.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

[You hear that noise Mattie? It's Cuba being shocked and what the hell and just what...]

What the Hell?

Why would they do that to her?

That bastard did enough to her!

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

He said she shot her after she realized where she was and who she was stuck with.

And it really isn't like anyone has any control on where they end up.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

I don't blame her.

Mat, you know what he did to her.

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

I know...

But he doesn't know that...I don't think he does anyway.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

What...how the Hell can he not know?

It wasn't that long ago.

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

I forget what year he was brought here from. It was in the 50s.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

"What year?"

Mattie what are you talking about?

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

We're not all from the same time here.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

The same time? How is that possible?

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

I was brought here in 2009. And nothings impossible here.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

2009!

Wha-

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

I think Mr. Japan, Netherlands, Belgium, and a few others were also taken in 2009 or 2010.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

Tha...that makes even less sense.

Last time I checked it was 1988.

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

Well, if you factor in it being 195X now....does it really matter what year it was when we ended up here?

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

I...guess not.

[He's just trying to wrap his head around this. He shakes it off and then decides to ask]

So Mattie. What's the future like then?

[mr-blandy-bland.livejournal.com]

It's pretty much the same...but everyone's sick.

[commie-island.livejournal.com]

Sick?